I’ve written about procrastination before. It was a short post and I intended to come back to the topic to expand. I just never got around to it.

Seriously. Procrastination is a real problem for me. There’s plenty of stuff, particularly around the house, that needs to be done and that I keep putting off. They say that the first step to a cure is admitting you have a problem. Uhm… I could write a post a day for a year, each on a different topic, and not get past that first step on any of them. But, I’ll try not to let that get me off topic. Actually, that IS the topic.

One of the main reasons I procrastinate is that there are so many projects I want to start and so many chores that need to be attacked, that I sometimes get simply overwhelmed and don’t start any of them. It’s simply so much easier to make a peanut butter and jam sammich, pour a glass of milk, grab the remote control and watch reruns of Two And A Half Men. And while the food is yummy and it’s fun to watch Charlie make a fool of Alan, it doesn’t get shit done.

If the first step to a cure is admitting you have a problem, then the second step must be to make a list of the things you must do to fix the problem. In my case, that list is my anti-procrastination to-do list. So… here goes:

• Finish scanning my photos: I’ve done this in spurts, but it’s been on my mental to-do list for two years.. Lately I’ve started it up again, but there still plenty that need to be done.
• Organize my basement and shed: I’ve also done this in spurts. Occasionally, I’ll spend an hour or two or eight in one or the other, and “find” a couple of garbage bags worth of junk or “organize” enough so there’s room to navigate the area without having to climb over stuff. But for some reason, I stop there. Or I’ll decide that something needs to be built or renovated to make it easier to be organized. The efforts I put into avoiding or delaying the actual work truly amazes me.

Note that I’ve mentioned the above two items before. My New Year’s Evolutions post 8 months ago promises that I’d progress on these.

But there’s more:

• There’s a few handyman jobs around the house that need a finishing touch. Whether it be sanding down the rough edges on cupboard doors I’d shortened 5 years ago or nailing a baseboard back on the wall in the living room from my hardwood flooring project 6 years ago, I’m guilty of not putting the finishing touches on some of my projects.
• There’s a couple of repairs necessary that I’ve been putting off. My driveway has a couple of major cracks and a pothole that needs filling. The light on the side of the house needs replacing. I’d replaced the light once, but after a month it failed. So, that’s kind of only half-procrastination. But the driveway… I bought the pavement patch in May. It’s still sitting in my shed, probably hardened and useless by now.
• I’d been planning a couple of creative projects as well. My neighbour has a mini-deacon’s bench in her front hall. She has promised to loan it to me so I can replicate it for my own front hall. It it takes is a little lumber, a weekend, and gumption. I also have every intention of putting in a stamped concrete from pathway. I borrowed the stamp two years ago… Nuff said.

Ok… I’ll stop there. I’ve sufficiently exposed my list. On the off chance that my wife will read this, I’d better keep the list a little short. Trust me, there’s already enough on this list to ensure she cures my procrastination forever.

While that might sound good, given the topic of this post, I’d rather not rush it.

Ever since Tony Soprano got whacked I’ve been searching for my next addiction. The Sopranos was without a doubt the best continuing saga I’d come across on TV. I’d wait each week and each season for the next twist or turn in the life and times of the world’s most neurotic, dangerous and yet lovable, mob boss.

But then it all ended in 10 seconds of black and silence, sending millions of fans into an anti-climatic realization that it was over. Over forever. I tried shows like 6 Feet Under, Deadwood and The Wire but none of them hooked me. I wasn’t reeled in.

That is, until I came across Dexter.

A friend of mine told me about this HBO show, not available in Canada, and that he had the first season downloaded off the interweb. He thought I’d like it. Dexter, the lead character, is a serial killer who kills serial killers. I filed it under “yeah right”. Then, the Movie Network picked it up and I fluked across it. I watched it. Dexter was riveting. Neurotic, dangerous and lovable.

So… I picked up on all the reruns of seasons one and two. Now, I can’t freakin’ wait for season three to start. I’ve got 4000 channels and nothing’s on TV. That is until September 28, when the the premiere of Season 3 airs. Check out the trailer below.

I know I’m supposed to be offended by the term “Newfie” and disparaging jokes about Newfoundlanders. I know. But THIS joke made me laugh out loud.

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.

The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

The Coroner tells the Inspector: “First body: An Italian , 60, died Of heart failure while with his mistress. Hence the enormous smile. Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the Lottery, spent it all on whisky, died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”

The Inspector asked, “What of the third body?”

“Ah,” says the coroner, “This is the most unusual one. Danny Earl, the Newfie, 30, struck by lightning.”

“Why is he smiling then?” inquires the Inspector.

“Thought he was having his picture taken.”

Thanks Ian!

Always the bridesmaid, never the groom. Or is it always the usher, never the pusher? Always the shooter, never the shot?

It’s closer to the last one.

This summer’s pool league was a successful one for me and my team. We teetered around first or second place all season, just eking our way into first place just before I went on vacation. My team, for which I’m the captain, managed not only to retain first place, but got us all the way into the finals for the championship match.

Enter Steve Melee, their illustrious captain.

On championship night, I managed to stand up to the pressure, mastering the table and my opponents with a whopping 2 wins out of 8 games. We lost by 4 games. But I can only take half the blame. I couldn’t have lost if my opponent didn’t win. Right?

Ok. I know, I know. So, then there’s the party. A bunch of guys, pizza, free beer… and a tournament. While I managed to play my way to the final two, I also managed to put away several (12 or so) barley based beverages. It was best 2 out of three. My opponent was none other than Jon M. A teetotaler and a very fine pool shot who was a little pissed off at a prior opponent who tried to win by not divulging the fact that he had fouled on a shot. The odds, needless to say, would be stacked against me at the best of times. My money was on Jon. Even though I took the first game, Jon wiped the table with me the next two. Looking back, I can see now that I shouldn’t have drank the extra two beers between the start of the first game and the start of the third game.

Oh well. It’s a fun league. I’m playing for fun. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

There’s no place like home.

This week, the Hebron deal was signed and is expected to bring thousands of jobs and billions of dollars into Newfoundland. This is supposedly going to change our fair rock into a “have” province. Many are hoping, myself included, that this is good enough news and a financial reality that is solid enough not only to stop the population bleeding out of Newfoundland, but will actually lure many back home.

Others, like my buddy Dave who recently left Newfoundland for Yellowknife to advance his career are remaining tentative. Dave carefully wonders if this is hype, similar to the buzz surrounding the Hibernia deals from a couple of decades ago.

Maybe cautious optimism is in order. But, to those of us who wouldn’t be heartbroken if presented with an opportunity to prosper in our home province, it’s hard to reign in that optimism. A friend and colleague of mine reflected this to me this week. It’s easy to be hopeful:

I remembered back in the early ‘90s working at the College trying to convince Fisher-folk in Gaultois, Hermitage, and Harbor Breton to train to be Computer ‘fixers’, Hair dressers, or ‘double knot spies’. That was part of the NCARP and then the TAGS program. Remember the news stories about the boys taking the rocks and towing them from one part of the bay to the other on the upside down roof of an old pick-up??

Brian Peckford was almost castigated back in the day when in his Nostradamic way he said “some day the sun will shine, and have not will be no more”.

My son, the sun came up first in NL today. The arse is back in ‘er.

I hope he’s right.

Well… back from vacation, and what a vacation.

As usual, we drove back to Newfoundland for our vacation. What was unusual was that we decided to tow our trailer and bring our four-wheeler along. We knew it would cost a little more in gas, we knew it was going to cost more on the ferry from North Sydney to Port aux Basques, and we knew it was risky to drag a trailer for such a long distance, but we tackled it anyway.

Just as we were about to hit the road, I realized our new trailer did not have a safety inspection completed. It was licensed and insured, but the necessary safety inspection sticker was not in place. I rushed the trailer over to a local business to get inspected, and luckily they were able to inspect it without forcing me to remove all the cargo. Loading the four-wheeler and other stuff, along with tarps and bungee cords stretched all over took me about two hours. The trailer got inspected and we were off.

We arrived in North Sydney a little later than we wanted to… around 9:30 pm. When we got there, we discovered that our boat, which was scheduled to leave port at 1:00 am, was going to be slightly delayed. It didn’t leave until around 3:30 am.

Leaving North Sydney late meant arriving in Port aux Basques late. We had hoped to make up the time, but we ran in to some issues with the trailer. (Side note… we had a 4×8 stake-side trailer that we sold so we could purchase a galvanized 5×8 trailer from Costco. The stake side trailer only had 9 inch wheels and the new one had 13 inch… more suitable for distance travel.) By the time we got to Marble Mountain, about two hours into a 9 hour drive on the Newfoundland side, I noticed that one of the tires on the trailer was low. I pulled it over the an air pump to fill it up and noticed that the problem was with the air filler stem. The metal was separated from the rubber. A quick check of the other tire revealed to me that it was also running a little low. I had one spare tire, but not two. So, Deer Lake was only 60 kms away… we hoped we could make it there to find a garage to help us with our issue. A little searching and we found a place to help us. They squeezed us in right away. Once they replace both (yes BOTH) valve stems, we were off again.

Luckily, there was no more excitement. No mechanical issues, no moose, no major construction delays. We arrived in Witless Bay around 7 pm, only about 3 hours later than expected.

RDF. Rain, drizzle and fog. That summarizes the weather for practically the whole time we were in Newfoundland. But that didn’t stop us from having a good time. In two weeks, we put 600 kms on the four wheeler (pretty good considering that much of those kms were at a crawling pace over very rough terrain). I managed to get it stuck several times, once REALLY good. My son had gotten stuck and needed to be winched out. When I followed in his path, I decided it would be best not to drive in his tracks. So, I figured I’d straddle them… my right wheels between his tracks and my left wheels to the left of his tracks. The right wheels were fine. The left wheels went straight into a deep puddle of water. It turns out that moss that is growing on top of water looks exactly like moss growing on top of the ground! I immediately jumped onto the right running board and leaned hard, holding the handle bars. I had to. Otherwise the bike was going to roll right over into the water… that would be disastrous. It took three bikes, pulling with engines and winches about 20 minutes to get me out. The new bike was officially christened.

Besides that, I found time to shingle a roof, install crown moulding, build a deck, fall off a set of scaffolding and generally kick the shit out of myself. Yes… I said fall off a set of scaffolding. It was a home-made set, screwed together, and attached to the side of the house. I was up about 6 feet and the scaffolding fell apart, sending me falling into a pile on the ground. I buggered up my ankle, both heels, my right elbow and my shoulder. The funny thing, is the sciatic nerve problem that has been nagging at me since April 2007 suddenly went away! I can hardly walk, but my back doesn’t hurt.

The whole trip, driving from Moncton to St. John’s and back and all around while we were there. 4500 kilometers of highway driving and didn’t see one moose. Ok, I saw one moose, but it was a baby and about 50 feet off to the side of the road. But driving up and down the dirt road of Gully Pond in Witless Bay, we saw 5 moose. I’d rather see them there than on the highway anyway.

And now… we’re back. It’s Saturday night and we have to go back to work on Monday. Seems like forever since vacation started but it also seems to have gone by in a flash. So, back to reality and looking forward to the next time we set foot back on the rock.

I’ll end my rambling now… and leave you with this: one of the coolest license plates I’ve seen.